Which STD Tests You Should Get and Why

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Doctors have their own opinions about who should be tested for which sexually transmitted disease (STD), but it's really up to you. When official recommendations are made, they're based on research statistics about sexual activity and infection rates. But experts say the best strategy is for individuals to educate themselves and then ask for tests based on their own sexual history and level of concern.

That said, here are some basic STD testing guidelines.

If you're sexually active

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends HIV tests for all sexually active adults and pregnant women. Urine tests are available now for chlamydia and gonorrhea, making testing easier than ever before. Some doctors recommend regular testing for both infections if you fall into one of a few high-risk groups, but anyone can request these tests.

If you're under 24

According to a 2006 CDC surveillance report, young people ages 15 to 24 represent just 25% of the sexually active population but they also represented almost 50% of new STD cases that year. "Young people ought to get tested once a year for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea," says H. Hunter Handsfield, MD, a clinical professor of medicine at the University of Washington and a nationally recognized STD expert who has helped develop HIV testing guidelines for the CDC.

However, he adds that depending upon a person's sexual behavior, testing might be as frequent as once every few months, or as rare as once every two years in the case of a monogamous relationship.

Chlamydia is a crucial test for young women (though you probably have to ask for it) since it's so common and so destructive. "That's the single STD that is most likely to be present in someone who doesn't show symptoms—and that can do a lot of damage," says Dr. Handsfield.

If you're a man who has sex only with women

Most doctors don't test heterosexual men for STDs other than HIV unless they have symptoms. That's partly because women get more severe health problems from HPV and chlamydia, and also because until recently STD tests have involved painful swabbing.

But chlamydia can affect male fertility, and now that there are painless urine tests for both chlamydia and gonorrhea, it may make sense to ask for these tests when you visit the doctor. Depending on your sexual activity, the infection rates in your community, and your level of concern, you may want to be tested for syphilis as well.

If you're a man who has sex with men

Testing for HIV and syphilis is especially important in this group because there are high rates of both infections among the men you're likely to have as partners. Depending on the number of partners you have, you may need to consider screenings more than once a year, says Dr. Handsfield.

Chlamydia and gonorrhea are also prevalent, and you can request the new urine tests instead of having to undergo an uncomfortable swabbing of your urethra.

If you're a woman (of any sexual preference)

In addition to getting tested for HIV, all women should get annual Pap smears to make sure there are no (potentially precancerous) abnormalities in the cells of the cervix, possibly caused by HPV.

Women under 26 should also get the HPV vaccination, says Dr. Handsfield. And Jeanne Marrazzo, MD, an STD specialist at the University of Washington medical school, advises annual chlamydia tests for younger women. "If you have multiple partners, you may want to be screened more often," she adds.

Since chlamydia can be detected with a simple urine test now, a full pelvic exam isn't necessary. You can also request a gonorrhea test at the same time, if you are concerned that you may have been exposed.

SOURCE: Health.com

10 Ways to Deal With Painful Sex

Why sex hurts, and what to do about it

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You're in the mood and your partner is ready, so you make a beeline to the bed with plans to rock the sheets. But then you feel it—a dull ache, an itchy rash, or a searing out-of-no where jab. When you've always enjoyed sex and suddenly it hurts, it can be confusing and worrisome. "Pain during sex is one of the most common things patients ask about, but most of the time, it's caused by something temporary that can be treated," says Alyssa Dweck, MD, an OB/GYN in Westchester, New York and coauthor of V Is for Vagina ($12; amazon.com). In fact, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists says that 75% of women experience painful sex at some point in their lives. Get a handle on what's keeping you sidelined from the sack by reading this checklist of symptoms, then the solution that will get you back in the saddle again.

The outside of your vagina is crazy-irritated

Possible cause: Personal care products. This isn't the kind of burning love anyone hopes to experience. But if irritation and redness on your outer labia or vulva are keeping you from enjoying the action, blame a bad reaction on a personal care product that made contact with the area—such as soap, body wash, massage oil, or even your toilet paper. "Dyes, perfumes, and other additives in these products can trigger vaginitis, or inflammation of the skin around the vagina," says Dr. Dweck.

Get back in the sack: Speed healing by leaving the area alone for a day or two until the irritation subsides. (Dabbing on a lotion or cream can just make the inflammation worse.) Then, take inventory of the products you use below the belt and swap out items with chemical additives for all-natural ones, Dr. Dweck says

It itches or stings down there, and there's discharge

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Possible cause: An infection. Discharge can be a tip-off that an infection is causing the pain. The tricky part: figuring out which infection is putting the brakes on your sex life. If the discharge is white, thick, and super itchy, it's probably a yeast infection, an overgrowth of the yeast that normally colonize the vagina, says Dr. Dweck. Another possibility: bacterial vaginosis, which typically has a grayish, watery discharge and a fishy odor. Then there are STDs such as gonorrhea or chlamydia, which often have zero signs but can cause pelvic pain and a greenish-yellow discharge.

Get back in the sack: Check in with your doctor, advises Dr. Dweck. Though an over-the-counter antifungal cream can cure a yeast infection, it's best to rule out something more serious right away. Your doc will prescribe an antibiotic for whatever ails you.

Your vagina is clamped shut

Possible cause: Vaginismus. If penetration has gone from painful to downright impossible because your vagina is shut tight, it may signal a little-known condition called vaginismus, says Raquel Dardik, MD, associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center. Characterized by painful, involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles, the cause is a mystery, though it may be the result of past trauma, like sexual abuse. "It's like your vagina has put up a 'do not enter' sign," adds Dweck.

Get back in the sack: Ask your doctor specifically about vaginismus—otherwise, she might just blow it off as anxiety or stress. That would be a shame, because vaginismus is real, and it's definitely treatable. "We teach women exercises that help them relax the pelvic floor muscles, which can help a great deal," says Dr. Dardik.

Your vagina feels like the Sahara

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Possible causes: Stress, drugs, or hormones. Vaginal dryness is one of the most common reasons women say they aren't feeling it during sex. Many things can cause it, such as stress, anxiety, or taking meds like antihistamines, which dry out mucus membranes, says Dr. Dweck. "It can also be the result of the normal drop in estrogen levels after childbirth, during breastfeeding, or as you approach perimenopause and menopause," she says.

Get back in the sack: Get things gliding again by using a silicone-based motion lotion to supplement your natural lubrication until stress lifts or estrogen production cranks back up. If it's perimenopause- or menopause-related, the estrogen dip may be permanent. But dryness doesn't have to be, so ask your doctor about options, like using a prescription vaginal estrogen cream.

Mid-thrust, you feel pain to the side

Possible cause: Ovarian cysts. A stabbing pain that can be pretty severe before subsiding could be a sign of an ovarian cyst, which your partner accidentally hit during thrusting. "It's not uncommon to have a fluid-filled cyst on the ovary, and if it's rubbed or touched even with the vagina as a barrier, it can hurt quite a bit," says Dr. Dardik.

Get back in the sack: If you feel this jab mid-deed, you definitely want to let your doctor know—especially if you're post-menopausal, when cysts can indicate something serious. But for younger women, an ovarian cyst is unlikely to be anything to worry about. "The vast majority of cysts are benign and cyclical, and they tend to disappear on their own," says Dr. Dardik.

During sex, your partner bumps something inside you

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Possible cause: Fibroids. An ovarian cyst isn't the only thing your partner might accidentally bump up against. A sharp pain felt higher in the vagina could be a sign of a uterine fibroid—a rubbery, stalk-like benign growth in the uterus. A 2014 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women with fibroids were three times more likely to experience painful sex than fibroid-free women. "The fibroid is probably jutting against the vagina, and then your partner's penis thrusts against it," says Dr. Dweck. Other signs of fibroids include mid-cycle bleeding, heavier periods, and feeling fullness in your lower abdomen.

Get back in the sack: Sometimes fibroids shrink or disappear on their own, and if they aren't causing complications, doctors tend to leave them alone. But if you are diagnosed with fibroids and the condition is making a dent in your sex life, talk to your doctor about minimally invasive surgical removal.

Sex in any position makes you wince

Possible cause: Endometriosis. From a dull ache to serious agony, general pain anywhere in the vagina might be the only clue that you have endometriosis. This condition occurs when endometrial tissue migrates outside the uterus and adheres to nearby body parts, such as your ovaries and fallopian tubes. "The tissue acts like sticky glue on different organs, and that can fix them in place," says Dr. Dardik. "That lack of flexibility can make things hurt during sex."

Get back in the sack: If your doctor diagnoses you with endometriosis, you have options: medication can keep tissue growth under control, limiting pain. And surgical removal of the tissue growths also helps, says Dr. Dardik.

Deep penetration sometimes hurts like crazy

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Possible cause: A tipped uterus. If you experience pain only when your partner thrusts deep, you might have a tipped uterus, says Dr. Dweck. "Usually the uterus is aligned straight with the rest of your body, but some women are born with one that is tipped backward toward the pelvis, and that increases the odds that it gets jostled during sex," she says. It's a weird body quirk that won't affect your health or pregnancy odds.

Get back in the sack: To prevent any jabs, have your guy not thrust too deeply. Or stick to woman on top, where you control the depth of penetration.

SOURCE: Health.com

This Is How Many Women Actually Like Rough Sex

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Here’s your excuse to try something kinky tonight: After polling more than 400,000 OkCupid members, the dating website found that 62 percent of women enjoy rough sex.

Why? Being bitten, scratched, or spanked increases your blood pressure and heart rate in response to the pain, explains sex researcher Nicole Prause, Ph.D. When that happens during sex, some people interpret it as sexual excitement.

Plus, there are areas of your brain where pain responses and sexual arousal overlap, she says.

We asked people what they really think of dirty talk. Here's what they had to say:

So what actually turns women on when they’re feeling a little adventurous? Sixty-two percent of them said having their hair pulled gets them going, while about 60 percent liked it when their partner took control, the poll found. (Dare to explore your ultimate fantasies with the Dare Me Pleasure Set from the Women's Health Boutique.)

Other things that topped their list of kinky behaviors? Being bitten, hearing derogatory terms, and being tied up.

In fact, the survey found that OkCupid members are 23 percent more likely to say they’re into BDSM than they were in 2013. Coincidentally, a big spike occurred around Valentine’s Day, when Fifty Shades Darker made its debut in theaters.

Just keep in mind that this isn’t something you surprise your partner with during sex. If you both want to get a little adventurous, talk about things beforehand to make sure you both feel safe.

If you're ready to green light some hair pulling, biting, and taking control—here are four ways to try rough sex tonight.

Additional reporting by Carrie Borzillo

The article 62% Of Women Like Rough Sex—and These Are Their Favorite Kinks​ originally appeared on Men’s Health.

SOURCE: Womenshealthmag

4 Times Your Vagina Needs to See a Doctor ASAP

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Luckily for us, many below-the-belt issues aren’t super serious. That sour-y smell? Meh, vaginas can smell like that. Some pain during sex? Don’t panic—it’s pretty common, and may be only temporary. 


But there are certain gynecological symptoms that require attention ASAP. Wondering if your issue falls into the take-care-of-this-stat category? There are two major things to consider, says Michael Krychman, MD, director of The Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship in Newport Beach, California: The severity of the pain, and how quickly it developed.

Below are four symptoms you should get checked out sooner rather than later.

It “burns” when you pee, and your discharge looks ... different

Some vaginal discharge is totally normal—but if you notice a significant difference in its color, odor, or consistency, that could be a red flag. “Women are used to their own cycle,” Dr. Krychman says, “so when that starts changing, it’s an indication that something could be wrong.”

Dr. Krychman also points out that it’s hard to self-diagnose what’s causing abnormal discharge: “More often than not, [people make the wrong] assessment,” he says. “They try and treat it themselves, and wind up with an infection.” A few possible culprits include a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis (an overgrowth of normal vaginal bacteria), or chlamydia—a sexually-transmitted bacterial infection, and the most commonly reported infectious disease in the United States. Chlamydia should be treated right away because the infection can spread to your uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes within a few days or weeks, causing pelvic inflammatory disease and possibly infertility.

Your vagina is swollen and really itchy

These symptoms could be triggered by anything from a bubble bath, to menopause, to a yeast infection. And often times, it’s no big deal. On the other hand, you might have trichomoniasis, an STD that’s caused by a parasite. That sounds scary, but according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it’s “the most common curable STD.” Only about 30% of people will have any symptoms, but the most common ones in women are irritation, burning, redness, and soreness.

Trichomoniasis is diagnosed with a lab test, and treated with a single dose of a prescription antibiotic. Make sure your partner gets checked out too, so you avoid re-infecting each other. Not only can trichomoniasis make sex more painful, but it can also trigger problems during pregnancy and make you more susceptible to other STDs.

You bleed after sex

Up to 9% of premenopausal women may experience post-coital bleeding (which is bleeding after sex that’s not related to their period) according to a 2014 review in the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology International. The good news is that for most women, the problem will go away within 6 months. But since post-coital bleeding is also a common symptom of both cervical cancer and vaginal cancer, your doctor might want to rule out the big C with a biopsy. Other culprits include endometriosis and benign cervical polyps.

There’s a bump down there that hurts


As a general rule, you should call your ob-gyn if you can feel a lump inside (or sticking out of) your vagina. Fortunately most cysts (if that's what it is) are pretty harmless, and probably won’t even need treatment. But if you have what’s called a Bartholin cyst or abscess—a buildup of pus in the glands that flank the vaginal opening—you may develop a painful infection that could make it hard to walk or sit. Soaking in a warm bath might help you feel better, but you may also need to get the cyst drained via an in-office surgical procedure.

SOURCE: Health.com

5 Things You Should NEVER Do During Sex

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Sex is one of those high risk, high reward situations. It can be really, really awesome, or it can go really, really wrong—penis fractures, gonorrhea, defective condoms, oh my!

Because we care about your vagina, we set out to uncover the things that could turn your super-hot night into a nightmare. Because nobody's got time for that.

Follow these sex experts' tips on five things you should never do when you’re in the middle of getting down.

1. Underestimate Your Risk of STDs

You may think that asking your partner if they've been tested is enough to protect you from contracting something, but it's not, says Leah Millheiser, M.D., ob-gyn, clinical assistant professor at Stanford University School of Medicine. “If you're having sex without a condom, you’re putting yourself at risk,” she says. Yes, you've heard this before. But the reason we're bringing it up again is because you need to be more careful now than ever—gonorrhea and other STDs are becoming harder to treat, says Millheiser. "It’s actually becoming drug-resistant.” Gah! Wrap it up. 

2. Mix Oil-Based Lubes with Latex Condoms

Not using appropriate lubrication can actually lead to some pretty serious tears that can land you in the emergency room, especially when it comes to anal, says Millheiser. That being said, not all lube is created equal. “If you’re using a latex condom, do not use an oil-based lube—including natural lubricants like olive or coconut oil—because they break down the latex and the condom becomes ineffective.” If you’re using a condom, you should be using a water or silicone-based lubricant.

3. Stick Food in Your Vagina

“If you’re putting fruits or vegetables inside the vagina, pieces can get stuck and break off in there,” says Millheiser. She says she often sees this issue in the emergency room. On a similar note, “If you’re going to put something in the rectum it should be something that’s specifically made for the rectum,” she says. “Those toys usually have a stopper on them so they can’t get lost,” she says.

4. Pressure Your Partner to Finish

Focusing on the end game too much can be detrimental for your sexual health because it can create tension, says Stephen Snyder, M.D., a sex therapist in New York City. “Sometimes it's just not going to happen, which is fine.” If your partner can't finish, Snyder says the best way to address it is by making self-stimulation a mutual activity. "You may want to ask if you can hold them, or make out with them while they get busy with themselves," he says. "Otherwise you can enjoy watching their body while they're giving themselves an orgasm," he says. Once you get over the idea that the penis has to be in the vagina when orgasm occurs, you can have a lot more fun.

5. Go Harder Than You Can Handle

And finally, don’t over do it, the experts warn. “If you’re too vigorous, you can end up getting little tears in your vagina,” says Millheiser. Getting too frisky can also be dangerous for the guys, says Snyder: “Avoid vigorous thrusting at odd or stressful angles, since a misplaced thrust could lead to inadvertent fracture of the penis.” Instead, take it nice and slow while trying a new position. Also, if you suspect you have a vaginal tear (a.k.a. sex feels painful AF), give your vag at least a week to heal up.

SOURCE: Womenshealthmag

4 in 10 U.S. Adults Under 60 Carry HPV

Nearly half of American men and women under 60 are infected with the human papillomavirus (HPV), putting them at risk for certain cancers, federal health officials reported Thursday.

More than 45 percent of men were infected with genital HPV in 2013-2014, while 25 percent were infected with high-risk genital HPV. At the same time, about 40 percent of women carried genital HPV, while almost 20 percent had high-risk genital HPV, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Some types of HPV can cause genital warts and are considered low risk, with a small chance for causing cancer, the CDC report said. Other types are believed to be high risk and can cause cancer in different parts of the body. Those areas include the cervix and vagina in women, the penis in men, and the anus and neck in both genders.

However, the HPV vaccine has the potential to reverse the epidemic and prevent thousands of cancers in the United States each year, the CDC researchers said. In fact, it's already having an effect, said Geraldine McQuillan, a senior epidemiologist at the CDC's National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS).

"After the introduction of the HPV vaccine in 2006, there has been a decrease in genital HPV in young adults -- this is a vaccine against cancer," she said.

In teenage girls, HPV infection has dropped 60 percent, and in young women it has dropped 34 percent, McQuillan said.

According to Fred Wyand, spokesman for the American Sexual Health Association, "These data are a further confirmation that HPV deserves its moniker as the 'common cold' of sexually transmitted infections."

Experts believe that most sexually active people have HPV at some point. "Fortunately, most of these infections do no great harm and will clear naturally by the immune system," Wyand said.

To estimate the prevalence of HPV infection among U.S. adults aged 18 to 59, the researchers used data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey from 2011 to 2014.

The investigators found that during that time period, the prevalence of oral HPV for adults of both genders stood at just over 7 percent, while 4 percent of men and women had high-risk oral HPV.

The prevalence of oral HPV was lowest among Asian adults and highest among black adults. And more men than women were infected with oral HPV, the findings showed.

As for genital HPV, Asians had the lowest rate of infection, while black adults had the highest rate.

Although the HPV vaccine prevents about 70 percent of all cervical cancers, too few girls and boys are getting it, McQuillan said.

According to a 2015 report, six out of 10 girls have started the HPV vaccine series, as have five of 10 boys. All girls and boys aged 11 or 12 should get the recommended two-dose series of HPV vaccine, the CDC advises.

"The vaccine is targeted to very young kids because you have to catch them before they are sexually active," McQuillan explained.

As more people are vaccinated, further declines in HPV and the cancers it causes will be seen, she said.

Wyand added that "HPV immunization is a sparkling triumph of public health. It works very well and has been shown to block virtually all infections and diseases related to the HPV types it covers."

Electra Paskett, a cancer control researcher at the Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer Center, pointed out that there's still a lack of urgency among parents to get their children vaccinated.

In addition, she said, "the vaccine is not strongly and routinely recommended by physicians."

Paskett believes the vaccine should be a regular part of a child's vaccine program and not singled out as something special. It's up to doctors to include the vaccine in the usual vaccine schedule, she said.

"The vaccine is a part of cancer prevention," Paskett said. "This vaccine has the potential to prevent 30,000 cases of cancer each year and is woefully underused."

The report was published April 6 in the CDC's NCHS Data Brief.

More information:
Visit the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for more on the human papillomavirus.

SOURCE: Health.com

Why Guys Fall Asleep Immediately After Having Sex

And how to keep his sleepy eyes open in the future.

Ever wonder what it is about sex that makes men want to pass out immediately afterwards? Yeah, we feel you.

To find out why the hell dudes can go from doing the humpty dance to assuming the horizontal position, we asked the experts, "What's up with that?"

You can thank the hormone prolactin for that male post-coital sleepiness, says Men’s Health sleep advisor W. Christopher Winter, M.D. Prolactin suppresses dopamine—a stimulating neurotransmitter that makes you feel awake, he explains. And his body releases it in spades when he splooges. Your body, however, doesn’t produce nearly as much, says Winter.

The “feel-good” hormone oxytocin also surges during sex, which helps squash any stressful thoughts from his mind and makes it easier for him to relax and fall asleep afterward. And (fun fact) if you have sex with the lights out, it signals to your body’s internal clock that it’s time for bed. When that happens, the hormone melatonin ignites his sleep cycle.

When prolactin, oxytocin, and melatonin all come together, it's basically the natural version of any serious sleeping pill—and he's in for a fantastic snooze. While that's great for him, if you've got stuff to do, like cuddle, run errands, or really anything that's not sleeping, hanging with a zombie S.O. isn't ideal.

To keep your post-sex time from looking like Weekend at Bernie's, make sure you pick a sex position that’s not horizontal, says Winter. Sure, it obvious, but lying on your back signals to your body that it’s time to sleep.

Another way to fight his sex coma: Do it with the lights on. That way, he won’t kick-start his sleep cycle, he says.

Winter's final tip is to get out of bed once you’re finished. Over your lifetime, your brain has come to associate the bed as a location for dozing. So it'll be nearly impossible for him to fight the urge to hit the hay if you just lie there quietly. So maybe move the snuggle party to the couch. 

This article was written by Cassie Shortsleeve and provided by our partners at Men’s Health.
SOURCE: Womenshealthmag

5 Things You Should Always Do After Sex

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Peeing is just the tip of the iceberg.

At this point, if you had a dollar for every time someone told you to pee after sex, you'd have enough to buy a truckload of AZO. But beyond the whole sex-then-pee routine, what else is there to do post-romp? Apparently, there's a lot.

As it turns out, locking down a post-sex routine can be the difference between a super-steamy sex life—and a perma-vengeful vagina.

"Good hygiene should always be the rule, not the exception, especially after sexual contact," says Sherry Ross, M.D., ob-gyn and women's health expert in Santa Monica, California. "Sex can bring a host of new bacteria, which is challenging for the vagina to fend off," she says.

And, as we mentioned, peeing after sex isn't the only thing you can do to ward off UTIs and other unpleasantness.

Here, five more super easy and actually enjoyable post-nookie rituals to keep your vagina happy and healthy (and your sex life stellar).

1. WIPE DOWN WITH NON-SMELLY SOAP AND WATER

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"Sexual lubricants and bacteria from the fingers, mouth, and rectum can increase your chance of developing a yeast or bacterial infection," says Ross, who recommends using a non-fragrant soap around your lady parts after sex. Simply take a warm washcloth and gently dab the area with soap and water (or just warm water), moving from front to back. Internal cleaning isn't necessary: The vagina has its own internal wash cycle that keeps it clean and balanced, she adds. In other words, no douches allowed.

2. SOAK IN THE BATHTUB

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Besides making you feel like the pampered sex queen that you are, adding extra virgin coconut oil to a warm bath can help hydrate the skin of the outer vagina and sooth any vaginal swelling or irritation that occurs after doing the deed, says Ross. Again, this reduces your risk of infection, she says.

3. CHUG A PINT OF WATER

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"Just like with exercise, you may need to hydrate after a vigorous romp," says Nicole Scott, M.D., ob-gyn at Indiana University Health. Dehydration affects your entire body, so if your mouth is dry and/or your vag felt like sandpaper during sex you definitely need to refuel with water. Right after your roll in the hay, chug a pint or two of H2O. That will hydrate you and help flush pesky UTI-causing bacteria from your bladder. 

4. EAT PROBIOTIC-RICH FOODS

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"Yogurt, kimchi, kombucha, and other fermented foods have the same good bacteria that are found in the vagina," says Kelly Kasper, M.D., ob-gyn at Indiana University Health. Getting into the habit of snacking on these foods after sex can help to replenish the body's good bacteria, helping to decrease your risk of a yeast infection.

5. GO COMMANDO

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Once you're so fresh and so clean-clean, ward off UTIs and other infections by wearing cotton underwear and loose-fitting PJs to keep your privates dry—or better yet, go commando for optimum air circulation. At the very least, avoid nylon underwear and tight-fitting sleepwear, which can trap moisture and help bacteria grow, according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases.

SOURCE: Womenshealthmag

16 New Ways to Touch Her Vagina

Try these tricks and she’ll never be bored in bed again.

Ever get a case of bedroom déjà vu? Once you discover a few no-fail tricks for touching her vagina and bringing her to orgasm, it’s hard not to fall into a sexual routine.

“If something works, you want to keep doing it,” says Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., author of Monogamy: The Untold Story. “But at the same time, even the best moves can get old and worn out.”

And although women often worry about taking too long to climax, they also don’t want to hit their peak in 60 seconds flat—which is what can happen if you go straight to your failsafe move every time.

By contrast, if you switch things up, you may find that her experience is more satisfying, since delaying her orgasm can make it stronger, says Brandon.

Plus, “novel experiences elevate dopamine in the brain, and that promotes bonding,” adds Yvonne Fulbright, Ph.D., author of Touch Me Here.

So save your signature skills for the grand finale and experiment with these 16 ways to touch her vagina.

1. OPEN HER HOOD.

There’s a little flap of skin that covers her clitoris when she’s not fully aroused—and it’s begging to be played with.

“The clitoral hood is actually an extension of the inner lips,” says Fulbright. “It can be its own feel-good spot.”

Early on in your encounter—before she’s gotten so turned on that her hood retracts—give the hot spot aon her vagina a little love: Trace her inner labia upwards until you find the fold just above her clitoris, and stroke it with your fingertips, making sure your digits are sufficiently slick with lube.

When she’s ready for direct clitoral contact, “you can use your thumb to push that skin up a little bit toward her belly button,” says Brandon.

2. FIND HER G-SPOT.

When it comes to G-spot stimulation, most guys know one classic technique: Insert a finger inside her vagina, palm up, and use a come-hither movement to stimulate her. But what if that doesn’t work?

Don’t give up your search for her hidden pleasure zone just yet.

“The G-spot is not necessarily right in the middle of that front wall [of the vagina],” Fulbright says. “It might be a little more to one side or a little lower.”

Her advice: Using at least two fingers, massage as much of the region as you can comfortably reach—and make sure she’s already wet before you work your way in.

“If she’s excited, the area is a little raised and rough,” says Fulbright. "If she’s not aroused enough, it’s going to be almost impossible to find.”

3. CUP HER VAGINA.

Her outer labia may not be as sensitive as the rest of her lady parts—and that means it’s a prime place to start when you’re warming her up for an orgasm.

When you’re making out, slip a hand down south and simply cup her vagina, pressing lightly. “This starts the blood flow and begins the process of arousal,” says Brandon. “It’s a gentle way to bring her into the experience.”

4. PLAY ON HER MOUND.

First, an anatomy lesson: Atop her pubic bone, there’s a mound of fatty tissue where her pubic hair grows called the mons pubis.

“When you play with the mons pubis, you can indirectly stimulate the clitoris,” says Fulbright. 

To wake up the region, use the heel of your hand to press downward on the mound, in the direction of her clitoris.

5. GIVE HER A MASSAGE.

Before you part the outer lips of her vagina, give them a little attention.

“Touching the outer labia isn’t going to stimulate the clitoris in the same way the inner lips do, because they’re not connected,” says Fulbright.

That said, taking your time before touching her clit can do wonders for her arousal—so press her labia majora between your thumb and index finger, rubbing back and forth with a gentle massaging motion, then gently tug her lips upward.

If she doesn’t shave, you can even lightly pull at her pubic hair, Fulbright suggests.

6. CIRCLE HER HOT SPOT.

As tempting as it is to race to her clitoris, tease her a little before touching down.

First, apply a little lube—hint: simply dip a digit into her vagina—to the padded part of your finger, and circle her clitoris, applying a firm, consistent pressure. 

“The circling motion is one of the most popular with women during masturbation,”says Fulbright.

7. CARESS HER CERVIX.

If your girlfriend prefers deep penetration, she probably enjoys the sensation of cervical contact—and your penis isn’t the only part of your body that can reach it.

“When she’s excited, the cervix does pull back some,” says Brandon.

“But the typical vagina is not that long.” So insert your finger until you can’t go any further, and gently massage her cervix, applying more pressure only if she responds with pleasure.

“It can be really, really sensitive, so try it gently,” Brandon warns.

8. RE-ANGLE HER BODY.

Stick with your standard way of stimulating her—the one that really gets her going—but switch up the position.

“It will feel different because a woman’s body is so supremely sensitive that these little shifts can be pretty dramatic to her,” says Brandon. “She’s also going to have a different emotional reaction to what you’re doing.” 

In other words, if she’s normally lying on her back when you get her off with an orgasm, trying the same technique on all fours can feel more animalistic.

So get creative: Have her lean against a wall, bend over the kitchen counter, or stand up straight—then execute the move she loves best.

9. STIMULATE HER VAGINAL OPENING.

Unless you’re a high-school boy, you’ve learned by now that fingering a woman—just gliding in and out—doesn’t do much for her.

But that doesn’t mean hands-off altogether: “Use two or three fingers to work your way in and out, but make sure you’re not just going up and down—firmly rub against the lower vaginal canal,” says Fulbright.

You can even linger in the opening of her vagina, moving your fingers in a circular motion, without ever taking them out completely.

“Most of the nerve endings are in the lower third of her vagina,” says Brandon. “Women like to feel really full at the opening.”

10. PLAY THE PIANO.

Place your index finger on one side of her clitoris, your middle finger on the other side, and pretend you’re playing the piano, going back and forth, from side to side, suggests Fulbright.

Rhythmic motions are typically the most pleasurable ones for women—and stimulating the sensitive skin next to her clitoris is an easy way to build arousal and anticipation for an orgasm, she says.

Eventually, you can move one finger so it’s on top of her clitoris itself for a more intense version of this move.

11. BE THE HORSE TO HER COWGIRL.

This trick gives whole new meaning to the cowgirl position: Have your partner sit on top of your inner arm, so her vulva is resting on your wrist and lower forearm.

“Place your hand between her legs and cup her butt,” says Fulbright. Then have her grind against your arm, and once she’s established a rhythm, move your arm to match the pace and intensity she prefers.

“You’re able to touch a lot more surface area—it allows the whole area to come alive, instead of just one particular spot,” she says.

Plus, the vaginal stimulation tends to be less direct—and therefore more tolerable for super-sensitive gals.

12. SWEEP THE REGION.

When you’re warming her up, graze your whole hand down the length of her vulva, using long, sweeping strokes.

Keep it fleeting—don’t worry about hitting all her nooks and crannies along the way.

“If you’re dipping inside, it's harder to make things rhythmic and smooth,” says Fulbright. “There’s one thing that women tell me gets them off: being rhythmic and consistent.”

13. GET BOTH HANDS IN ON THE ACTION.

Use the thumb and index finger of one hand to spread her labia, and use your other hand to stimulate her clitoris, suggests Fulbright.

Not only will opening her up give you better access to the pleasure zones of her vagina, it will make her feel a little vulnerable—which can be highly arousing.

14. KEEP HER PANTIES ON.

Yes, you’re eager to strip her down, but leaving her panties on can add a little pleasurable friction to your touch.

(It’s also great for a woman who is highly sensitive and prefers more indirect contact.)

The ideal scenario: She’s wearing satin panties, not cotton, which will easily glide across her genitals as you stimulate her, says Fulbright.

Once she’s fully aroused, continue the action by pushing her panties aside, instead of removing them, Brandon suggests. “That has the high-school feel to it—‘I’m doing something wrong because my clothes are still on,’ ” she says.

Admit it: That’s hot.

15. LET HER LEAD THE WAY.

Watching her masturbate is the ultimate way to learn what she likes—but that level of vulnerability can be pretty intimidating for some women.

So put her hand on top of yours, and try this line: “Show me what you like, baby.” “Do this in a sexy way—not an ‘I’m confused, help me out,’ kind of way,” says Brandon.

Let her guide your hand—and be sure to make mental notes along the way to her orgasm.

16. HIT HER CLITORIS FROM ALL SIDES.

The classic side-to-side, up-and-down stimulation is undeniably awesome—and an almost surefire way to make her climax with an orgasm.

But that’s really only hitting a portion of her clitoris.

Brandon suggests lightly pinching it, then rubbing it in a circular motion between your fingers, as if you were wadding up a piece of gum. That way, you’re touching her hot spot from all angles, while also applying pressure.

It’s the recipe for an amazing orgasm.

SOURCE: Menshealth

12 Things We Wish Guys Knew About Birth Control

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One of the best parts of baby-making is that modern medicine allows us to not make an actual baby if we don't want to. We're alive in a century when we can get down just for the sake of getting down. 

And while we are fully aware of the fact that birth control makes sex awesome and way less stressful for our uterus, we hope guys can understand all its glory (and sometimes pitfalls), too. Because, believe it or not, dudes, if you're not standing behind a stroller right now, you are reaping the benefits of the BC. 

Here's some stuff we wish more dudes knew about contraception ('cause if they were the ones who could get preggo, they'd no doubt be schooling us).

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Ninety-nine percent effective isn't 100! Don't groan if we ask you to wear a condom even though we take our pill every morning like clockwork. We want to feel as secure as possible that this romp won't lead to a baby bump so we can relax and enjoy it more, of course. 

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It's implanted in our uterus, not our vagina (Google it). If you're concerned a plastic (or copper) rod that far up will damage your manhood, congratulations, you have an exceptionally large package (like, WHOA) between your legs. Seriously, how do you walk around with that thing?

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Don't be surprised if we ask you to pitch in if the Affordable Care Act stops covering birth control (or gets repealed altogether). Put your money where your peen is.

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It's another form of birth control that allows us to hump without abandon, especially if we're the type who can't remember to take a pill every freaking day. Trust us, you and your penis won't even know it's there. If it accidentally pops out during intercourse, we've got a three-hour window to get it back in before a child gets conceived—score!

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Some gals go Patch or go home. However, just so we're clear, it's got to already be stuck to the skin; it's not a magical pre-sex sticker that stops humans from being conceived.

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If it's our first time getting busy and you happen to remember we mentioned being on birth control at some point, that isn't your cue to shove it in sans latex. A friendly reminder, we don't want a baby or STDs right now. Having sex without a condom is a conversation we can eventually have—if you don't do stuff like trying to penetrate us bare without asking.

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Condoms can be a drag and occasionally pleasure-reducing for both parties, but that can be solved with a little thing called lube. (Try this organic personal lubricant from the Women's Health Boutique.)

And you know what's worse than condoms? A one-night stand turned 18 years. So, sorry to be the rubber police but wrap that soldier up...

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You can Cirque du Soleil yourself all over the bed in order to avoid ejaculating inside of us, but you'll never somersault your way out of pre-cum. Also, your timing and skills aren't as impeccable as you assume, Johnny Gymnastics.

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Some women are on it for their skin or to correct hormonal imbalances that cause other issues. Do not assume we're in a non-stop bone zone because our contraceptive game was on point when you met us. But also, don't assume that we're not doing it like we're on the Discovery channel—it's really none of your business until we DTR.

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We have to take this type of no-baby medicine every day, ideally at the same time, for it to works its magic. So if you try to sex us and we start to freak out realizing we haven't taken it in three days (life can get crazy!), react accordingly—with gentle sympathy and a condom within reach.

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Emergency contraception isn't a quick fix that we can pop like Tylenol for a headache. It's usually at least $50 per box and can come with a side of nausea. We don't want no scrub. A scrub is a guy that counts on us to hit up Walgreens when he gets sloppy with the condom.

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Sometimes the side effects we experience from birth control are borderline inhumane. Acne, weight gain, and feelings weird feels all of a sudden are just a few—and besides switching our prescription, there's nothing we can do about it. Remember that we're taking one for the team here; a team that we'd like to currently keep at a maximum of two people.

SOURCE: Womenshealthmag

When Stress Kills Her Sex Drive

There’s a silent threat waiting to sabotage your sex life—and no, we’re not talking about STDs: Her sex drive may be more sensitive to stress than yours, according to a new study from the Kinsey Institute.

Researchers surveyed people about their sexual activity, and then assessed how certain moods—feeling stressed, depressed, happy—affected their libido. Not surprisingly, women were less likely than men to report a spike in desire when they were in a bad mood.

And that makes sense: Men often turn to the gym to blow off steam, while women tend to internalize their feelings—letting the tension build up over time, says study author Kathryn Macapagal, Ph.D.

Help her unwind by watching for these three signs that she’s stressed:

Stress Signal #1: She’s been shopping . . . a lot.

Draining the bank account may defuse her stress—but only temporarily.

“When you buy something exciting and new, your brain responds like it’s being rewarded,” says Macapagal. “But research shows that the exciting part is the actual buying process.” Read: Her high may fade immediately after she signs for those heels.

Your move: Replicate the charge of shopping without charging anything to your card.

“In psychology, we try to recommend things that give people a feeling similar to the activity we’re discouraging them from,” says Macapagal.

So if it’s the novelty of new shoes that thrills her, plan a fun, inexpensive date for the two of you—say, visiting an art museum or taking a hike.

Stress Signal #2: Her muscles are tight.

Sense she’s had a bad day? “Touching your partner is one way to assess stress,” says Macapagal.

Your move: Rub her down. What’s more, target her traps: Activity in the muscle that runs down the back of the neck significantly increased as mental stress mounted, in a new University of Colorado study.

Stress Signal #3: She’s neglecting her appearance.

Stress can interfere with her ability to prioritize, so she may cut out the non-necessities—even if that means eliminating things she normally enjoys.

“She may feel she doesn’t have time for self-care activities, whether it’s getting dressed for work, putting on make-up, or exercising,” says Macapagal.

Your move: Make her old must-do activities a priority for her. If she used to love hitting the gym, help her get there.

“When she gets home, have your workout clothes on, and hers set out,” says Macapagal. Or, if she loves manicures—but her nails look ragged—buy her a spa gift certificate.

SOURCE: Menshealth